My Matrix Story
by Isis976
Summary: A story of a young woman's journey from a normal life in the matrix to living as a rebel in Zion
1. Prologue

My Matrix Story 

**Prologue**

_A young woman of about twenty with long dark hair and almost black eyes suspends her wet laundry on the clothesline. She sighs with a pair of underpants in her right hand and stares up at the afternoon blue sky._

It's strange how I would remember this; this ordinary mundane task I would do every Saturday afternoon; laundry day. The girl staring up at the sky would wonder to herself 'is this all there is?' A question I would ask myself many times.

They say in Zion that your memories of life in the Matrix fade away quite easily after a while. But mine haven't. Most people would say that I'm hanging on to something but I know that it's not that. It's something deeper.

My story began a year ago…

**Author's Note: Short beginning I know. Please keep reading. Reviews will be appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_The young woman sits on a crowded train on a normal afternoon on her way home from work. Everyone around her talks to friends, either the ones sitting next to them or on their cellular phones. Everyone except her feels that this is all there is and accepts it._

God I hate my life. I can't believe that this is the result of everything that I've worked for in the four years that I spent at university. I hate my job, I hate the people I work with and I hate this stupid routine!

By day my name is Angelique Horton. I'm a "responsible" computer programmer with a 9 to 5, a tax file number and an apartment in suburbia. According to people who think they know me I like shopping and going to computer conventions.

By night I'm Devil; computer hacker extraordinaire. I've committed every crime on the net thinkable and had a damn good time doing it too. In essence it's one of the only real pleasures I get out of this shit heap that I call life.

Other than that I like going to heavy metal clubs with my actual friends and screaming my lungs out to the latest Manson, Deftones or Linkin Park song. Sometimes I even enjoy going up to the Hindu temple just a few suburbs away to meditate. It's in those meditations that I find myself in another world; a different world more turbulent than this. It's quite ironic really, especially when meditation is supposed to relax you.

I had been living like this for a year now when one night everything changed. And it happened in the way I least expected it to.

"Hey Devil you bitch open up!" I could hear Isis pounding on my door. I shook my head and laughed.

"Just a second." I yelled back. I closed the lid on my laptop and ran for the door. Isis stood outside all dressed to go clubbing. "Wassup?"

"What's up is that Nathaniel and the group are waiting for you downstairs and you are coming to Black Death with us."

"Oh come on I've got things to do tonight."

"You can rob the Reserve Bank another tonight. Get dressed. You're coming with us."

"Oh alright. Just give me ten minutes."

_Twenty _minutes later I was leaving my apartment dressed in my black mini skirt, fishnet stockings, knee high black boots, a black sleeveless knit and all sorts of jewellery. It was quite a refreshing change from the usual crap I had to wear to the office.

"Lets go people!" Nathaniel shouted from the driver window of his van. I grinned seeing the gang all excited. Black Death was the hottest new heavy metal rock club in the area. Maggie had gotten the passes for us all. She probably had to sleep with the manager (not that she wouldn't have minded) to get them. But seeing how it was none of my business I didn't ask.

* * *

Once inside I was positively thrilled to find the club playing one of my favourite songs. Rock is deader than dead And the shock is all in your head 

"So fuck all your protests and put em' in bed!" I screamed out the lyrics to my hearts content feeling all the rage and irritation inside me pour out.

Good old Marilyn Manson. Always there when I need him.

We partied the next few hours away having the occasional drink. But I never drank too much when I was here. The music seemed to intoxicate me. I didn't care why. To me it just wasn't important.

It wasn't until about after one in the morning that the beginning of the end of my life as I knew it came. And it was in the form of a man strangely enough.

I sat down for a breather and sipped on a vodka tonic. Not my usual choice of drink but hey I was feeling "adventurous". I placed my drink down and bent over to adjust my boots. Man my feet were killing me.

"Need some help there?" A masculine voice towered over the noise but it seemed only I could hear it.

"No thanks I'm fine." I replied without looking up. Strange. I don't normally get guys hitting on me in these clubs. Most people are here for the music.

"I'm not making a pass at you if that's what you're thinking."

That did it. I looked up at whom I was speaking to. He had Asian features, dark brown almost black hair and was wearing a white suit with a black shirt and sunglasses. Wait a minute. How on earth did this guy get in the club dressed like that?

"You know you look a little out of place in this club." I commented.

"Why because I'm not Caucasian?"

"No because you look like a GQ cover boy. Everyone else in here looks like they just came off the set from an Orgy or Manson video."

"So what should I be wearing then?" He asked with a laugh. "Tight leather pants with a matching tank top?"

"Well yeah but you can also wear cargo pants too if you don't like leather or vinyl." I looked up at him. He was kinda cute. "So what's your name?"

"Ghost."

"I'm Devil."

He gave me an 'are you kidding?' look. "What kind of a name is Devil?"

I looked down to adjust my skirt. "Well what kind of a name is Ghost?" I received no answer. When I looked up he was gone.

"Weird." He had disappeared as mysteriously as he had arrived.

I shrugged and kept sipping on my drink.

* * *

The next morning I awoke at ten with a blinding headache. Odd. I hadn't drank that much. My dreams had been pretty weird though. Besides dreaming about having something shoved into my ear, I kept seeing that man's face. What was his name? Ghost? What a weird name. Although my hacker alias was pretty bizarre it wasn't my real name. Actually come to think of it Angelique was strange name for me. According to my mother (a total git and a half if I ever saw one), it was derived from the word Angel. An angel? Me? How ironic. Devil suited me more. I was always a troublemaker and a problem child. Oh how the good old days have passed. 

I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed to go running. It was a beautiful Saturday morning and I sure as hell was not going to waste it.

I stopped at one point to drink some water from the drinking fountain when I heard a very familiar voice.

"Need some help there?"

I stopped dead. I turned around to see him. "Are you stalking me?"

"No not really." Ghost laughed. "Actually I do need to speak with you."

Was this guy nuts? How the hell did he even find me? My own idiot mother couldn't find me if there was a neon green sign over my apartment saying 'SHE'S HERE!'

"About what?" I eyed him suspiciously.

"I know this may seem strange to you but I actually am here to help you."

"With what?"

"With this?" Faster than I could see he had a gun pointed into my right ear. "Tell me Devil have you had any dreams of having an ear examination lately?"

"Yeah something like that." I said absolutely terrified. Good work Devil. Always attract the homicidal maniacs.

I felt something being sucked out my ear. Slime was dribbling down my neck.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I looked at him. In a glass cylinder a small bug covered in brownish fluid wriggling around.

"Was that in my ear?"

Ghost didn't say anything but threw the cylinder into the nearby pond. "Come on we haven't got much time. Lets go."

For once I didn't argue. He took my hand and we ran.

* * *

I found myself in the company of other spectacularly dressed people. Three other people to be exact. Two women and one man sat in the Pontiac Firebird. What in God's name had I gotten myself into? 

Ghost gave me what I assumed was an attempt at a comforting look. Boy he needed to work on his facial expressions.

"We're here." He said as we pulled up outside an abandoned building.

"Where's here?" I questioned him.

He said nothing but smirked.

"Well answer me."

"You'll see."

I didn't know what to think. How can you think clearly when a parasite has just been sucked out of your ear? Or when a (cute) man you met for the first time last night might be potentially stalking you? I wish I knew.

We climbed several flights of stairs until we stopped outside of an old and battered door.

"Are you ready?"

"For what?"

"The answer to that one inescapable question you keep asking yourself."

"How do you know about that?"

"Just go in." He opened the door and pushed me inside.

"Hey watch it." I tried to open the door but it appeared to be locked from the outside.

"What the fuck have I gotten myself into?" I muttered.

"Good morning Devil." Another male voice greeted me. Great. Was I about to be part of some good old-fashioned gang banging? I really hoped not.

"I am Morpheus."

"And how is it that you know my name?"

"I know many things about you Devil. I know that your real name is Angelique Horton. You work five days a week at a promising software company. You live in a decent part of the suburbs and you like to go shopping." I shook my head.

Boy had he got me wrong.

"Devil is your hacker alias or as you prefer to think 'your real name'. You like going to heavy metal clubs on Friday nights and on Saturdays you hang your laundry out to dry all the while asking 'is this all there is?' but never receive an answer. Tell me why do you think that your question cannot be answered?"

Or perhaps not.

I was taken aback so much that I had to place a hand on the wall to steady myself. "Because no one else seems to feel the way I do. Everyone else is so content to have some routine to live their lives by. I'm not. This can't be it. At least not for me."

"Ironically that's not too far from the truth." He sat in one of the old armchairs by the fire. "Come now sit. What you feel is a recognition that this world is not a real place. It is a façade to cover up the real truth."

I leaned in closer. "What truth?"

"That you are a slave Devil. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison for your mind. The Matrix.

"What is the Matrix?"

"Unfortunately no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself."

He held out his hands. "This is your last chance. After this there is no turning back. You take the blue pill you wake in your bed tomorrow morning believing that this was some elaborate dream. You take the red pill you begin the journey."

Oh bloody hell. I looked down. Well my life seemed to suck so blue was out of the option. I took the red pill from him and swallowed it down. He stood up and gestured for me to come with him. I followed him into the next room where those other people in the car were.

"Trinity are we ready?"

"Almost."

The other woman led me over to a chair. "Ghost could you?"

"Sure." He began attaching wires to my arms. I flinched when he touched me. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but some reason I was afraid of him. It struck me as odd. I'd hardly ever been afraid of anything or anyone in my life. Added to the fact that I barely knew him it didn't make sense. Who was this guy? And why did he feel like death?

Feel like death? Was that even English? God I'm weird.

"The pill you took is part of the trace program." Morpheus said as he stood behind a computer console. "It's designed to interrupt your input/output carrier signals."

And I thought I wasn't making sense.

Not really knowing what the hell he was going on about I just nodded. I looked at the mirror next to where I was sitting. There was a crack right where my face came up to. Then the crack seemed to slide into perfection as if the surface was not made out of glass but liquid.

"Did you…" My voice trailed off. I touched the mirror. My fingers swirled around in the cool liquid. I tried to pull them out. As I did the liquid covered them and slowly started to envelope me.

"What the fuck is happening to me?" I cried out. "Is this-"

"Real? Feels like it doesn't' it?" Morpheus said behind me. "How's it coming?"

"Trinity shook her head. "Nothing yet. We can't trace her."

All around me I could hear a flurry of voices.

"Sparks we'll need a signal soon."

"She's going into arrest."

"We still haven't got her."

"Sparks hurry up!"

"Alright it's locked."

"Now Sparks."

The cold liquid engulfed me completely. All I could do was scream.

Then there was darkness.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

Come on Devil wake up.

I could hear a voice inside my head. Then I realised that voice was my own.

Get up you bitch. Move.

I had the feeling of being submerged in a warm bath. I felt so safe and secure but I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was going to hurl. I pushed so hard against the water and finally I broke through. I pulled a tube out of my mouth and vomited various coloured fluids.

'Oh gross' I wanted to say. But my mouth or my vocal cords didn't seem to be working. I looked at where I was. I was sitting completely butt naked in a pool of red liquid that looked suspiciously like amniotic fluid. Attached to my arms and legs were black tubes, almost exactly the same as the one that I pulled out of my mouth. I reached around to the back of my head and to my sheer horror there was a plug which I'm pretty sure would not have been a good idea to try and pull out myself.

The next thing I knew a machine swooped down and grabbed me. I could feel the plug being unscrewed which felt incredibly painful and odd at the same time. When the machine had finished its work it dropped me. I thought the worse was over.

How could I be more wrong?

The plugs on my body started popping off me. Well to put it mildly. The fluid in the tub drained out and I slid out alone with it down a tunnel. Kind of like a water slide but nowhere near as fun.

I landed in a pool of icy water. I tried to tread water but my legs gave out on me. I saw a light above me. It was the last thing I remembered before I lost consciousness again.

* * *

"Well it looks like she made it." I could hear a woman's voice above me.

"She looks so fragile." A man said. Ghost? Could that be his voice?

"I know but once we fix her up she'll be as good as new."

The first thing I noticed besides the voices was the cool metal underneath my skin. My eyes were stinging from the light. A warm hand held my own. I looked up. It was Ghost.

"Welcome to the real world." I could hear.

"I… don't… understand." A shaky voice that didn't seem my own called out.

"You will. Just rest for now. Then again for the third time ever I passed out…

How annoying.

For the next few days everything was a blur as I kept slipping in and out of consciousness. At one point I awoke to see hundreds of needles sticking out of me.

"What are you doing to me?" I asked weakly.

The woman with dark hair and skin looked at me. "While you were plugged into the Matrix your muscles wasted away from lack of use. We're rebuilding them."

"Oh." I said and fell asleep.

I woke up some time later in a room fully clothed and by myself. I caught sight of myself in piece of glass. My hair, my one redeeming feature was gone. In its place was one-week-old regrowth. Shit. A syringe was attached to a hole in my arm. I pulled it out, wincing as I did so.

"Ouch." I muttered. My eyes had stopped stinging at least. And in place of my lanky arms and legs I had fully toned rippling muscles. Well if I was going for the G.I Jane look I might as well look like I could kick someone's ass.

The door opened. The woman who had been attending to me during my weird mind trip stepped inside.

"Good morning." She greeted me. "The name's Niobe. It's Devil right?"

I nodded. "What's happening to me? Where am I?"

"Well we're not entirely sure where on the Earth we are but we do know that the year is around 2199 or at least close to it."

"What do you mean?"

"Come on." She started to leave. "Morpheus can explain it better than I can."

She led me to the deck. "This is my ship the _Logos_. It's a hovercraft. This is my crew Ghost and Sparks. You probably won't be staying on this ship though. There's not a lot of room." She pointed to Morpheus. "His ship is the Nebuchanezza. But he's just overseeing your initiation into our ranks."

As the day went on I learnt the truth about the world I had lived in. Everything I had ever done was a lie. My life had never existed at all. It's kind of depressing when you think about it

(I'm not going to write out the whole matrix explanation. If you haven't seen the movie and have no idea what I'm talking about you shouldn't be reading this).

That night I was taken to their city Zion. I was to be transferred to another crew to do God knows what. God. That's an interesting topic. Why did he let this happen to us? Why couldn't we be saved? I had believed there was a god since I was old enough to understand the concept. Somehow I didn't believe it anymore. My whole life was a lie. Apparently so were my beliefs.

Figures…

I hardly slept in the next few days. To be honest I was shell-shocked. I barely ate at all. I couldn't deal with it. The struggles I had dealt with in the matrix had only happened on a sub conscious level. I didn't know what to do next. The only thing that kept me from going mental was use of the construct in the control centre where I was being trained. I learnt how to fight, how to drive all sorts of vehicles and handle all types of weaponry. Other times I would program the construct for the Hindu temple that I used to go to for meditation. I felt so calm there. I was alone most of the time. It didn't bother me though.

Although one day while I sat on the steps of my Hindu temple on top of a mountain range I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Hello Devil." Ghost said.

"Hello Ghost. Did you come here for the views too?"

"Well no but Zion can get a little boring to look at sometimes so this is a refreshing change. What I really came here to do is to check on you. How are you dealing?"

"I don't know. It's kind of hard for me to accept that my life never really happened. There's all these memories in my head that…" I trailed off, feeling incredibly depressed.

"I understand."

"How long have you been here for?"

"Six years."

"What were you doing before you were freed?"

"To be honest I don't really remember much about my life in the matrix." He sat down beside me. "Once I had accepted that my memories didn't really happen I let them go and built a new identity for myself."

"Do you think that there are people that miss you when you left?"

"No. There weren't very many people in the matrix that I could say that I counted as family or friends. Most people who are freed are like that. It's a sort of side effect that comes from rejecting the system. You were a hacker. One of Morpheus' crew Trinity was a very famous hacker. She was the one who cracked the IRS D Base.

"Trinity is a girl?"

"Yeah. She's very much a girl." His voice held a hint of sadness when he was talking about her.

Hmm better not go there. Not my business. I looked out in the space.

"Do you know why I was called Devil?"

Ghost shook his head.

I laughed. "I thought it would be obvious to most people. My word was described by the people in most hacker circles as the 'ultimate demonic presence of the virtual world', in other words the Devil. So from that point onwards I called myself that. It seemed to suit not only my work but also my personality itself."

"Interesting." He stood up. "I supposed to tell you that we're having a council meeting later to appoint you to a crew."

"Oh."

"You don't sound too excited."

"I'm just still dealing with everything that's all. I haven't slept too well in the last few days."

"That's understandable. But you'll be fine soon. I guarantee it."

"Where's this meeting gonna be?"

"In the council chambers."

"I don't know where that is."

"Come on I'll show you."

We walked down the long corridors of Zion. I hadn't been here long so I still got lost quite easily. I knew how to get to my room, the gardens and the training centre but other than that I was as lost as hell. One time I had spent three hours trying to get to the mess hall for breakfast.

"Here we are."

He pushed open the huge doors that looked as if the metal had been carved out. It was one of the more beautiful things about the city. The crews for each of the ships had started gathering. I recognised Niobe, Sparks, Morpheus, Trinity, Roland, Soren and Axel (who was seriously spunky I thought) but that was it.

Eventually everyone else arrived and the meeting begun. They started with a prayer and then orders of business. Reports on sentinel activity, how many had been freed and talk of the One. I didn't know much about the One, just that he or she was supposed to be incredibly powerful and hadn't been found yet.

Finally they got to me.

"I hereby appoint Devil to the crew of the _Vigilant_ under the command of Captain Soren." Someone announced. People applauded. Soren stood up and walked over to me. He extended his hand to me. I took it and we walked to the centre of the room.

"Do you swear to serve me and the crew of the _Vigilant_ to the best of your abilities?"

"I do."

"Do you swear to do anything and everything necessary to help us in our struggle?"

"I do."

"I hereby swear you in as an assassin for the crew of the _Vigilant_. Congratulations Devil." We shook hands and embraced to conclude the initiation.

Everybody applauded. I turned towards the group and saw Axel smiling at me. God he was cute. I smiled back at him. Working for Soren was going to be fun.

* * *

That night there was a small celebration with my new crew. Besides Soren and Axel there was Binary, Vector and Jax the operator. Axel and I fell easily into conversation. He seemed so adorable with the light brown mop of messy hair falling over his face.

"So how long you have been here for?" I asked him.

Axel shrugged. "About a year now. It seems so long ago that I came though. You getting used to this?"

"Yeah. It's kind of odd waking up here and not in the Matrix but I'm adjusting slowly."

"Tell me about it. For a while I used to wake not knowing where I was."

I laughed. I felt so happy having someone to talk to. It made me feel normal again.

"So do you know many people here yet?" He asked me. "Oh shit what a stupid question. Of course you wouldn't. I'm sorry. Sometimes I get nervous around… people."

"I'm sorry if I make you nervous. I must look like someone straight out of boot camp with this hair."

"Nah. Actually you won't look like that for too long. Around here hair grows surprisingly fast for the pod borns. I'm not sure why but Soren reckons its got something to do with the way we're designed. We can regenerate a little bit faster than those born naturally."

"Really?"

"Apparently so."

"Did someone say my name?" Soren yelled out from the other side of our table.

"I just said how much I loved you Soren." Axel said grinning. "I want to marry you and ride off on the _Vigilant_ into the… well there's no sunset. Into the smog"

"I'm sorry but he's mine bitch." Binary said with mock anger. "Hands off."

I watched with glee and Axel and Binary parodied a bitch fight with Binary as the winner. No matter how grey things seemed to get they always knew how to pick themselves up again. Something I would learn over the next year.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

One year later

"Alright here's the plan." Soren said as he briefed our crew. "The target will be travelling by plane. He'll be leaving from New York City airport. Axel and Devil will be the snipers for the mission. The rest of us are to take out anything in their way."

"What if he's using Agents as guards?" I asked.

"Axel will take out the target, you can cover him if that is the case."

Axel and I exchanged looks.

"The reason for that arrangement is that Axel is a better sniper. We're going to arrive half a kilometre outside the airport. Once we're there we split up and the mission begins. Got it?"

"Yes Sir!" We snapped in unison.

"Good. Alright Jax get ready to load us up."

Jacking in was always an interesting experience. I liked picking out an outfit. Today I had chosen a red leather suit with a red cotton singlet top underneath and red boots with chunky heels. As Axel had predicted my hair had grown back to full length (something I was quite pleased with). I had it arranged in a French braid.

I selected a pair of 9000 S Automatic pistols from the weapon racks for my shoulder holsters, four throwing knifes for my sleeves and my boots, some grenades, an MP5, an AK-47 and an M95.50 Advanced Sniper rifle, which were to go in my bag.

"Nice choice." Binary said as she grabbed a shotgun.

"Is it your turn to ride shotgun tonight?"

"Hell yeah."

"Damn."

"Alright Jax load up the car." I heard Soren say behind me. A black jaguar appeared behind us.

"Everybody ready?"

"Should be." Axel yelled.

"Okay Jax. Send us in."

Around me a room constructed itself. First the table, then the phone, the floor, the walls and the roof. The phone rang.

"We're in."

I suppose I should fill you in on some of the things that have happened in the past year while we're on the way to the airport. Well where should I start? Lets see. I went to see the Oracle a few months ago. The visit went something like this…

The young woman waits in an old style apartment with several children. A child of perhaps five levitates several wooden blocks in the air, a girl manipulates a magnetic field creating sparks of electricity.

I watched with interest. Who in the hell were these kids? Were they going to be freed too?

"Excuse me Devil," The woman who had let me in at the door nudged me. "The Oracle will see you now."

I followed her into the kitchen. A woman was looking inside an oven.

"Don't tell me." She said. "You're Devil."

"And you're the Oracle?"

"Bingo." She reached inside the oven and pulled out a tray of cookies. "Smell good don't they?"

I watched with interest as she placed them on the stove. She turned around to face me. "Not what you were expecting huh?"

"Nope."

"Well let me have a look at you." The Oracle took my hands and looked at my palms.

"Now open your mouth and say 'ah'."

Was this woman a oracle or a doctor?

"Alright here's your fortune." She sat down at the table and lit up a cigarette. "I see a sad time coming for you but I also see happiness following that sadness. I see love between you and a dead man."

"Huh?" Was this woman all there?

"Don't worry you'll understand when the time comes. Now take a cookie and go back to your friends. You won't remember any of this until a short time before it happens."

Now that I think back on it, I'm not sure of who she meant. The dead man? Who in the hell was she talking about?

Another thing that's happened is Axel and I are seeing each other. I don't think it's love but in the last six months I've never been happier. Just waking up beside him everyday is the best thing ever. Although getting caught by Soren making out on the Vigilant was probably the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me, I don't mind. Soren didn't either. He laughed his ass off hysterically for about ten minutes straight and then proceeded to tell everyone else on board.

It's been a crazy year with the guys on the Vigilant. Between missions and council meetings I was having the time of my life. For once I felt like I actually belonged. For once I felt like I had a purpose. Now that I think back on my life in the matrix I never really had a purpose. For me it was just getting up out of bed every day, going to work and coming home again. Honestly compared to my life now I cannot think of anything worse to have to do everyday. Well enough about me. Lets get on with the story.

We finally reached the airport about twenty minutes later. I rechecked my guns and went off with Axel to begin our mission. We had to get to the tarmac without being noticed.

Yeah, like that was that going happen.

Soren, Vector and Binary were (discreetly) behind us, prepared to take out any target that was in our way. Axel and I walked together acting like we did in Zion; like a couple to try to fool the security. For a moment I really thought that our plan could have worked. And it might have if the nearest security guard didn't turn into an Agent.

"Shit!" I cursed as I withdrew my pistols. "Run Axel. I'll hold him off." But it was too late. Another Agent had appeared and had grabbed him.

"Oh no." This was not my day.

I reached for my cell phone and dialled.

Jax answered. "Operator."

"Jax a little help here would be good."

"It looks like they're moving him towards the tarmac."

"Any police?"

"Two units and there's some serious activity heading your way."

"More Agents?"

"S.W.A.T units. Find the conveyer belts they use for the baggage. Number ten should take you directly to the tarmac."

"Alright." I saw Soren and the others. "Come on we need to get to the conveyor belts."

I ran like a mad woman trying to get to the conveyor belts. I found the one I was looking for and jumped straight on, narrowly avoiding the spray of bullets from the police. Once we were all clear Binary threw a grenade, taking out the police in the area.

"Nice one." I commented.

"Thanks."

I re-holstered my pistols and got my MP5 out. I liked the MP5. It could double as a sniper rifle in the most extreme situations and could let off a barrage of bullets like a machine gun but not nearly as random.

"Okay heads up here they come." Soren said with a machinegun in hand.

I checked the ammo in my weapon for the third time that minute. We weren't even out of the tunnel the conveyor belt went through when we opened fire.

When we came out there was a pile of about ten bodies, all those of S.W.A.T. After a few seconds of surveying our handiwork we ran like hell to the control tower.

More police and S.W.A.T units were awaiting us.

"Take em' out." Soren ordered.

Five seconds (and several bullets) later all there was left were corpses.

"I thought you guys needed help." That made me jump. Ghost casually strolled in with a rifle in his hand.

"We do." Soren snapped. "If they get Axel in the air he's dead. You take the tower. We'll take the stairs.

The door blasted open. An Agent and several S.W.A.T members barged in. We ran for our lives. I threw a grenade behind me and didn't look back. I threw away my MP 5 which had no bullets left in it anyway and pulled out my AK-47.

"Devil take out the one at the top." Vector yelled. I aimed and blew his brains out.

Ewww.

"DEVIL WATCH OUT!" I heard below me but too late. I felt something red-hot pierce my right ankle.

"JESUS SUFFERING FUCK!" I screamed. "Who the fuck just shot me?"

I collapsed onto the ground. My ankle felt like it was going to explode. I had never been shot before. I didn't know what to do.

"Vector get her out of here now." Soren yelled.

Vector picked me up. He was surprisingly strong. He ran with me to a cop car and threw me inside. He got inside the car and drove like a man on fire. With what little strength I had I pulled off my right boot and my jacket. I could see the bullet.

"Don't try to take it out. You could damage a nerve." Vector said from the front. "Tie your jacket around your ankle to slow the bleeding.

I winced as I tied the leather jacket around my ankle.

'Breathe.' I told myself. 'Just breathe'.

I rang the ship.

"Operator."

"Jax where's the nearest exit?"

"Two blocks south of your direction on Lake Street. It's an old phone box."

"Good. Vector get to Lake Street now." He sped the car up.

"How does my ankle look?" I asked Jax.

"It missed any arteries in your leg but I won't be able to tell if there's going to be any residual damage until you jack out."

"Wonderful." I hung up.

Vector parked the car and picked me up. He started running towards the old phone box. I heard it ringing. I love that sound. To me it was the sound of safety. I picked it up and felt myself vanish from the artificial world.

Jax pulled the spike out of my head. "You okay?"

"My ankle hurts like hell but I'll live. How's Axel?"

"He's alive." Jax gave me a needle filled with fluid. "You know what to do with this." He dashed back to his station.

I injected the liquid into the plug on my right forearm. Instantly the pain stopped. I collapsed back onto my chair exhausted.

"They got him." Jax yelled excitedly. "Ghost's got Axel. He's fine."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Where's Soren?"

"At an exit. Be ready to unplug them."

Soren awoke first, then Vector and Binary.

"Are you okay?" Binary demanded.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"Devil go to sickbay now and have Binary run a diagnostic on you now. That's an order." Soren said sharply.

"I want to be here when he wakes up. Please Soren. You know he means a lot to me."

Soren sighed. "Alright."

A few minutes' later Axel's eyes fluttered open. Jax was standing by to give him a shot.

"Come on this one's going to sickbay too." Soren ordered. Reluctantly I hobbled down the corridor with Vector and Jax carrying Axel behind me.

"Niobe said to tell you 'midnight'." I could hear Axel behind me saying to Soren.

It was revealed in sickbay that there was residual damage in my ankle and I wouldn't be able to enter the matrix until it had healed. Axel was in worse shape than I was. He had suffered damage all over his body. When the others had left, I stroked his messy hair. "You gave me quite a fright back there you know."

He smiled. "I know. I'm sorry."

I started crying and flung myself onto him. "Don't you ever do that again. I honestly thought I was going to lose you."

"Hey easy now. I'm still sore."

I backed off. Axel managed to sit up. "I love you stupid. I'll always come back for you. Now where's my kiss?"

I glared at him but kissed him anyway.

"You get some rest okay. I'm going back to my room."

As I closed the door behind me I realised something. Did he just say he loved me?

* * *

We arrived back in Zion by nightfall. The others were still asleep after jacking in for the meeting. Apparently there had been another ambush. Fortunately there were no casualties. We had gotten lucky this time. But it was just a matter of time before our luck would run out.

We docked ship and debarked. I grabbed my stuff and helped Vector carry Axel to our room.

"Sleep for a while okay." I said to Axel as I dressed to go to the temple.

"I've been asleep since I jacked out." He protested.

"And you can barely talk without your ribs hurting." I sat next to him on our bed. "Please just do what I ask you to." I gave him my most sincere look.

Axel rolled his eyes. "You know I hate it when you do that. It makes me agree to anything you say."

I grinned. "And that's exactly why I do it." I kissed him. "I'm not going to be long. Probably an hour or two."

Dressed in a white mini skirt and a brown halter neck, I made my way down to the temple. The painkiller was wearing off but my ankle had healed quite a bit so the pain wasn't too bad, just enough for me to hobble.

Everyone had gathered some time later in the temple. As Councillor Hamman entered the temple a revered silence came over the crowd.

"Tonight," He spoke. "Let us honour these men and women. These are our soldiers, our warriors; these are our husbands and wives, our brothers and sisters, our children. Let us remember those that have been lost and let us give thanks for those that have been found and who stand here beside us." He paused. "Now I would like someone else to close this prayer. Someone who hasn't spoken here in a long time but who I believe has something to say that we all need to hear. I give you Morpheus." As he finished the whole crowd erupted in cheers and screams for the legendary captain."

Morpheus stepped up onto the altar. "ZION HEAR ME!" as he spoke a silence fell over the crowd. "It is true what many of you have heard. The machines have gathered an army, and as I speak that army is drawing nearer to our home." All at once nervous chatter began among the people. "Believe me when I say we have a difficult time ahead of us," He continued. "But if we are to be prepared for it, we must first shed our fear of it. I stand here before you now truthfully unafraid. Why? Because I believe something you do not? No! I stand here without fear because I remember. I remember that I am here not because of the path that lies before me but because of the path that lies behind me! I remember that for one hundred years we have fought these machines! I remember that for one hundred years they have sent their armies to destroy us! And after a century of way, I remember that which matters most: WE ARE STILL HERE!"

We screamed our agreement. Even though Morpheus was not exactly regarded as sane he knew how to inspire the people.

"Tonight," Morpheus boomed, "Let us send a message to that army. Tonight, let us shake this cave. Tonight, let us tremble these halls of earth, steel and stone. Let us be heard from red core to black sky. Tonight, let us make them remember: This is Zion AND WE ARE NOT AFRAID!"

Once more we were overcome with inspiration and determination as we cheered for the captain. Then the music started.

I saw Ghost just staring out into the cavern. I wondered what he was thinking about. Would he go down there and dance? Nah. Well it wouldn't hurt to ask him. I walked up behind him in attempt to surprise him but before I could put my hand out to pat him on the shoulder he turned around…and scared the shit out of me.

For a few seconds I was lost for words. I finally said, "Are you going to dance?"

He stared at me with an utterly bemused expression, as if I had said 'do you want play Russian roulette with an Agent'.

Eventually he broke the silence. "Why?"

I felt myself blushing under his stare. "Well I was hoping I could dance with you."

"Okay."

I grabbed his arm. "Come on."

My favourite song was playing. It felt strange hearing it in this place but it was comforting in a way. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close. It felt nice to be close to someone. Honestly I felt a little guilty that it was Ghost holding me and not Axel. But it I guess we all need to be held every now and then by someone, anyone. Doesn't that just sound like a lyric from a backstreet boys song?

_I looked away then I looked back at you_

_You tried to say things that you can't undo_

_If I had my way I'd never get over you_

_Today's the day I pray that we make it through_

_Make it through the fall_

_Make it through at all_

_And I don't want to fall to pieces_

_I just wanna sit and stare at you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

_And I don't want a conversation_

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

_Cause I'm in love with you_

When I start thinking like that it just confuses me. I wanted to be with Axel but at the same time I wanted to stay with Ghost forever. I wanted this song to never end. What the hell is wrong with me? I didn't have feelings for Ghost did I? It wasn't possible. Maybe I was just tired and stressed out. Yeah, that was it. It had been a long week.

_You're the only one I'd be with til the end_

_When I come undone you bring me back again_

_Back under the stars_

_Back into your arms_

_"I should go." I said quickly and ran through the pit. I could hear him behind me._

_"Devil wait! What's wrong?"_

_And I don't want to fall to pieces_

_I just wanna sit and stare at you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

_And I don't want a conversation_

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

_Cause I'm in love with you_

The truth is I didn't know what was wrong. Emotionally I felt like there was a roller coaster in my stomach. Physically with each step I took, my feet felt like they were made of concrete.

_Eventually he caught up with me. "Devil are you okay?"_

_Wanna know who you are_

_Wanna know where to start_

_I wanna know what this means_

_Wanna know how you feel_

_Wanna know what is real_

_I wanna know everything_

_Everything_

_I don't want to fall to pieces_

_I just wanna sit and stare at you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

_And I don't want a conversation_

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

_Cause I'm in love with you_

I felt the oxygen drain from my mind. I looked at him and gasped, "Ghost."

_Cause I'm in love with you_

Then everything went black.

* * *

"Is she gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. In all likelihood it's probably just exhaustion sickness. She's hardly slept in the last week at all. She tends to do that. She'll overwork herself and then she just crashes and burns. But she'll be fine in about a week or so."

I opened my eyes. Axel, Ghost, Niobe and Ice were standing over me. I was in my room on my bed.

"You gave us quite a fright there young lady." Axel said. "How you feel?"

"Like shit."

"That's not surprising. You'll be staying here until you're better."

"I can't go back on the Vigilant?"

"Afraid not." Ice replied. "You could die you know. We can't afford to lose any other assassins. God knows we've already lost enough."

"Does Soren know?"

"No he'll be told tomorrow. You can still go to the council meetings but you should stay here and rest. Otherwise you'll get much worse." Ghost said looking down on me.

"Alright. Everybody out so I can get some sleep. Except Axel."

When they had gone I peeled off my party clothes and slipped into a light cotton tunic. I snuggled up to Axel and relaxed. As much as I loved partying I preferred just being held and to sleep.

"Don't overdo it." He whispered to me.

"I'll try not to."

"You've had exhaustion sickness four times in the last few months Devil. You're pushing yourself too hard. I'm worried okay."

"I know. But I only work so hard because I love what I do. And because I have someone worth fighting for." I looked at him as I said that.

"You mean that?"

"Of course I do. It's not easy for me to admit that I care about someone. Now shut and snuggle up to me."

As the lights went out in Zion and the night came to an end I drifted off. But not before I heard his voice in the still darkness, which made me smile.

"I fight for you too."

That was the last time we would share the same bed. From there on everything in my life just went downhill. The war ended and everyone I loved was dead.

I was in my quarters when I heard the news. It had been three days since the war had ended. The Hammer, which had been repaired and could now fly was flying through the tunnel to look for survivors. What they found was the wreckage of the Vigilant and the bodies of my friends, including Axel. Roland was the one who had brought the news to me. After he had left I was numb for about five minutes. Then I dropped to the floor and screamed.

I screamed. I screamed for Axel, for Soren, for Vector and for Binary. I screamed because I should have been there to die beside them instead of lying in this stupid bed. I screamed because now I was alone. My closest friends were gone and all I could do was scream.

I didn't come out of my room again for a week. I just sat in my bed in silence. I didn't want to talk to anybody because I knew that the second I opened my mouth I would cry. I didn't want to cry. I hated crying.

* * *

One morning I went to the training centre that everyone had abandoned and jacked into the construct. I sat on top of a mountain, breathing in the cool mountain air. I knew that this place wasn't real but it was my only escape from the grief that plagued me.

Trying to escape reality.

Trying and falling

"Axel I miss you so much." I whispered. "Why did God have to take you from me? Why couldn't I die as well?"

I knew that no one would answer my questions so I fell to the ground sobbing. The earth beneath me became a sponge, soaking up my tears. I cried until there was a deep hollowness within me, a kind of peace.

I felt a strong pair of hands lifting me up and cradling me.

"Ghost please just go. I don't want you to see me cry."

"We've all got to cry sometimes. Just let me hold me while you do."

"Why?"

"Because I know what you're going through and I wish that someone had been there for me."

"It was Trinity wasn't it?" I dared to ask.

He didn't answer. He just held me and played with my hair. I relaxed and let my feelings just drift away.

"I'm sorry Ghost. I know you cared for her."

"It doesn't matter. She was never mine."

At that point I decided to keep my mouth firmly shut. The sun in the program started to set. I didn't want to leave at all. I wanted to stay here forever in his arms. I didn't care that he wasn't mine. I just wanted him to hold me.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep in his embrace because I awoke in my own bed. I kept wishing that this was all some horrible nightmare and I would awake and Axel would still be alive and I would still have my friends. But I know now that this is the true reality and I was stuck in it for good. I didn't know what I was looking for in the Matrix and I sure as hell didn't know what I was looking for here. I had lost everything and now I had to find something else.

It's hard when you lose the definition of what your life was. For me life meant waking up on the Vigilant next to Axel, going into the Matrix on assignments and coming home to Zion at the end of it. Now I technically didn't have a life. My mother always used to quote to me 'life is what you make it.' I used to hate it when she said that. It's only now that I realise that she was right. We define our life by the elements which compose it: boyfriend/girlfriend, work, friends, sleep, sex, hobbies, etc. But what do you do when you lose all of that? Do you try to find new things to make up your life or do you wallow in the pieces of if and try to make sense of how fucked up everything is? I wish I knew.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Eventually I was forced to leave my wallowing behind in my room and help rebuild Zion. Thankfully I was paired with Ghost as part of the search group. We were to go to the damaged parts of the city and to determine what would need to be done. Ghost knew more than I did about this so for most of the time I would just stand around while he would survey the damage. We never talked much for those first few days. Between us the conversation probably came to a total of thirty words. I felt awkward around him after what had happened in the training centre. I didn't know how he felt. He barely ever talked and when he did it wasn't for too long.

He looked at me, interrupting my chain of thought. "Something wrong."

I shook my head. "No not at all. Why do you ask?"

"You've been so quiet. You're normally quite the chatterbox."

"Well I've got a lot on my mind."

"Want to share?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I just think too much and everything just goes all hazy."

"I didn't know it possible to think too much."

"It depends on what you're thinking about." I sat down on a nearby chunk of rubble.

"Well what are you thinking about?"

I didn't say anything but I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him that I had been thinking about him and the other day. I wanted to tell him that I wanted him to hold me again. I wanted to tell him that I felt guilty for thinking about him when Axel hadn't been dead that long. God I'm screwed up.

"Devil." Ghost called to me.

I blinked. "It's nothing Ghost. Really. I'm fine."

"You're not you know. If you're thinking about the other day then I'm thinking about it too."

Damn! How did he always do that?

He continued on. "I love being with you. I love the way you smile into the distance when you think no one's watching you. I love the way that you push on even when you can barely stand up. And I loved holding you when you were crying because I could be with you when you needed someone the most. I love you…and I know that it's wrong because someone you loved just died."

Oh God. Help me for what I am about to do.

I grabbed him and kissed him.

When I let go, we were both breathless. I stumbled back and then I fled.

What in the name of Jesus did I just do?

That was what I kept asking myself as I paced the room. I was hiding in Binary's old room. I didn't want to come out. Why did I kiss him? Of all the stupid things I could have done I chose to kiss him. What in the name of God is wrong with me?

I could hear voices outside Binary's old room.

"Has anyone seen Devil? She's gone missing.

"Where did you see her last?"

"Down in sector 16B. She just took off. I don't know why."

"I haven't seen her but if I do Ghost I'll let you know."

I knew I couldn't hide from him forever but a little longer wouldn't hurt him. I crept around in the room and sat down on the bed. Binary had left most of her things untouched. The bed was unmade, there were some clothes that had been folded and left on top of her drawers. A beaded necklace sat on top of a metal jewellery box. It was like she had never really left.

The morning they had been called up to search for the Neb they would have left pretty quickly. I wonder if they had even considered that they weren't coming back? I know Binary would have. She was always very practical about these things. She knew every time the Vigilant left Zion there was always a great chance that we wouldn't come back. She never appeared to be sad about it though. She saw it as a way to show her appreciation to those who had freed her.

I didn't mind leaving Zion because I was always with Axel. Home was where he was. The day he died was the day I lost my home. And yet I didn't love him. I cared for him but I never did love him. Maybe if he had gotten a chance to come home I could have loved him.

I decided to go back to my quarters. I didn't know what the hell I was going to say to Ghost. I was always the 'act first, think later' type. It was a trait that had frequently gotten me into a lot of trouble in my short life. Hopefully he wouldn't see me.

Fat friggin chance! He was waiting for me outside my door.

"I knew you would come back here eventually." Ghost said with a smirk. "That was quite a kiss there young lady."

"Fine laugh at me." I snapped. "I'm going to have dinner and go to sleep. And for the record you're not that much older than me so quit calling me young lady. Who the hell do you think you are? My father?"

"I'm not here to laugh at you Devil. I wanted to see you. I wanted to give you something in return." He kissed me passionately. It was even stronger than the one I had given him.

"Damn." I whispered. "Damn." He stroked my blushing face.

"I love you. I'll see you tomorrow."

What is it with guys and telling me they love me?

I entered my room and closed the door behind me. "Fuck, shit, damn it and crap." Great. This was just great. What the hell had I gotten myself into? I liked him but I didn't know what I wanted from him. I didn't know if I wanted a relationship with him or anything. How the hell was I supposed to know?

I heated up some rations and sat down with them. What I needed right now was a good meal and a hot shower. Maybe a nap.

"Axel." I prayed. "Please tell me what to do."

I dreamed that night.

_The young woman floats through time and space. She sees faces of those she loved long gone._

_"Axel." She cries._

_"Hey baby."_

_"Is it really you?"_

_"I'm here. Now what's wrong?"_

_"Ghost. I care about him but I don't' know if I should be with him. You just died over a week ago. What if I'm just using him?"_

_"You've always loved him. Even before we met you cared for him. Now stop being so stupid and be with him. Remember I love you. Good bye my Angel."_

I awoke covered in sweat. Angel had been his nickname for me. Axel had always said that even though I considered myself to be a Devil I was truly an angel.

Did I love Ghost? I didn't know. I never trusted my dreams mostly because they never made sense to me. But this one was loud and screamingly clear. It had been Axel. That much I was sure of. But how could I trust what I didn't completely believe?

I thought about Ghost. He always seemed so indifferent but I knew that he wasn't. I remember when I met him. He had an aura about him. It had felt like death. He had earned the name 'the dead man' because of his deadly fighting skills but I knew that he wasn't really like that.

"The dead man." I whispered to myself.

I see love between you and a dead man.

Ghost. He was the dead man. The man I loved was a dead man. But he wasn't dead, at least not to me.

I left my room and ran like hell to his quarters. I had to see him. I didn't know why. It was like something had possessed me. I had never been in love my whole life. Twenty-two years and I had never been in love. I didn't know if the way I was feeling was normal.

I pounded on his door. When he didn't answer I pounded again. Finally he opened the door. When he did I just stood there gaping.

"Devil are you okay?"

I didn't answer I just flung my arms around him and held him tightly. "Please let me stay. I don't want to leave you ever."

"What made you change your mind?"

"I don't know. But I love you Ghost. You know what I love about you? I love that you can stay so focused even when the world's falling to pieces around you. I love it when you smile because you almost never do. I love the way you watch me when you think I can't see you because that's exactly they way I watch you. I love you Ghost."

I chose to shut up at that moment because quite frankly I had nothing else to say. I lowered my head. He caressed my face in the darkness. I looked up at him not knowing what to say. But maybe I didn't need to say anything else.

"Are you mine?" He asked me breaking the silence.

"I was yours from the moment we met."

That night we didn't do anything but lie together. Okay maybe make out but that's all I swear. Damn he can kiss I'll tell you that.

The next morning I could hear Niobe yelling outside his room.

"Ghost get your ass out here now."

"What does she want?" I asked him.

Ghost shrugged. "Oh wait I said I'd go have breakfast with her and Morpheus."

"Are they together again?"

"Apparently."

"Well I'll go back to my quarters and get something to eat. I'll probably see you later."

He grabbed me and circled his arms around my waist. "No come with me."

"Ghost!"

"Hold on a sec."

I looked at him. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright."

We opened the door together. Niobe who had been lifting her hand to start pounding on the metal again stopped in shock.

"Good morning captain." I greeted her.

For a few seconds Niobe didn't say anything. Eventually she opened her mouth to speak. "Do you want to come with us?"

Ghost, myself, Niobe and Morpheus sat around a table that had been set up in the gardens. We were eating in silence. I didn't know what to say to her. She probably thought I was slut or something. Morpheus was giving Ghost a look that said 'nice one' which amused me. Niobe cleared her throat. "So Ghost how long has this been going on?"

"A few days."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

"You should've said something. God knows we need something cheery to talk about around here."

"Niobe didn't you want to tell Ghost something?" Morpheus asked, nudging her.

"Oh that." She put her fork down onto her plate and sighed. "They found the Logos. She's not in the best shape but they can fix her."

"Did they find anything else?" Ghost demanded.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what."

Niobe looked down at her plate. "They found her too. But they couldn't find Neo. But he probably didn't survive either."

I saw a look of pain come across his face. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders.

"I see."

"I'm sorry Ghost."

"No it's okay. We were bound to find out sooner or later." He stood up. "I'm going back to my quarters. Devil, come with me."

When we had closed the door to his quarters he stood facing the back wall, not saying anything. I looked down on the ground.

"Ghost please say something, anything."

But he didn't say anything. I wasn't sure of what to do. I just sat down on his bed contemplating the whole situation.

"I know she's dead now." I looked up. He was facing me.

"I assumed she was but they found her body. I kept hoping they would find her alive even though I knew it wasn't possible. But she's really dead and she won't come back.

"I'm sorry Ghost."

"Everybody's sorry but there's not a damn thing they can do about it."

"What do you want me to do? I can't bring her back and neither can you Ghost. Don't forget I lost my friends too. I know how you feel. Please don't shut me out."

"Just go Devil. Please just get out." He snapped

I did so but I cried as I walked down to Binary's old quarters. I didn't want to go back to mine. He would know where I was. I didn't want to particularly talk to him right now. I know he was grieving but I was too. You didn't see me lashing out at everyone else.

I was so tired. I slept on the old bed. I knew that someone would probably find me here but I didn't care about that. I just wanted to be alone now. I covered myself up with the old blankets and slept. My dreams were a series of nonsensical images and words. I didn't pay much attention to them. When I awoke I had a blinding headache and generally felt like crap. My mother used to say that the more troubled you felt when you went to sleep the worse you would feel after. Boy was she right.

I couldn't hide from my troubles forever. Wait a minute! Yes I could. Who said I had to talk to him again? Oh wait I did. Crap! To be honest I was confused and pissed off. Trust me when I say that's not a good state to be in. You're angry but you have no idea what about. That's just weird.

"Devil get out of there now." I could hear Ghost pounding on the door.

How in God's name did he find me?

I rolled my eyes and went to open the door.

"I would advise you to make any explanation that you are about to give me phenomenally good." I said with a slight touch of acid in my voice.

"Would an apology be a good way to start?"

"Yes it would be."

"In that case I apologise for being a complete ass."

At that point my anger with him melted. I really hate when that happens. I wanted to be angry with him. I wanted to feel like that. That's why anger is dangerous. It can be very addictive because of the adrenaline rush.

"I suppose I should say that I forgive you." I replied. "I do you know. But what next? What's going to happen to us?"

"What do you want to happen?"

"I want to be with you always."

"I want that too."

"Then what are we doing here Ghost?"

"We're fighting like a real couple would."

"So we're a couple now?"

"You said it yourself. The day we met you were mine. It's just a matter of admitting it to ourselves and to everyone else. Unless you don't want to be with me."

"I do want to be with you Ghost. I love you."

"I love you too."

Finally I gave in and kissed him. Life's too short to be fighting all the time. Sometimes you just need to be with the people you love and that's enough. Well at least it was enough for me.


	6. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Good news. After that my memories of life in the Matrix began to fade. I've still got some of them but only vague ones. I remember my old name and my old job but that's about it. Actually I can't even remember that anymore.

We married in the gardens. No children. We didn't want any. Thank God for that. But I'm happy. I no longer wonder what could've been if Axel was still alive or if Trinity wasn't dead. I don't care about that anymore. What I care about, who I care about is the man that I sleep beside every night, the man I love, the dead man who saved me and gave me a new life. My Ghost. Now that I think of it maybe I was the one who was dead inside. I didn't want to love or be loved. I didn't want to be with anybody at all. But he saved me. Sometimes you need to be saved from yourself. In the end the ones who hurt us the most are ourselves. It was once said to me that the harshest master is truly oneself. I now know that that's true.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll wake up back in the Matrix being Angelique Horton again and none of this would have ever happened. I would be stuck back in the 9 to 5 daily bullshit and a life that I hated. But if the Matrix is the dream world then what would that make Zion? Heaven? Who knows?

That is how my story ends.

**Author's note: I hoped you like this one. Please read and review. The song is 'Fall to Pieces' by Avril Lavigne.**


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